Not up for grabs

My body is not yours. Even if you are rich and I am poor. Even if you are my secret crush or my favorite basketball player. Even if you are my partner, mother, brother, daughter or boss. You don't get to control my body. My body is not yours. Even if you are famous. Even if you are the Republican nominee for President of the United States. Not even then is my body yours.

And no, when "you are a star, they (women) don't let you do it,". Your fame, your "stardom" doesn't grant you unparalleled access to my body...or anyone else's.  Just because you're famous doesn't mean that the women you are with start giving enthusiastic consent. 

Here's what "success" with a lot of women could mean:

  • Her "no" falls on deaf ears;
  • She stays silent because she is afraid of being physically hurt;
  • She is desperate to scream "no" and get away but her mouth won't open and her body freezes;
  • She was into what was going on but changed her mind
  • She gives in to your groping because her job, reputation or life is on the line.

With 1 in 6 women experiencing rape or attempted rape in their life and more like 1 in 4 experiencing some form of sexual abuse (contact and non-contact) a woman "giving in" sexually seldom means what the man (or woman) "scoring" thinks it means. But the bottom line is no, you being a "star" does not automatically grant you access to women's bodies.

My body is mine. It's not up for grabs.

Posted on October 19, 2016 and filed under Abuse, Impact of Trauma, Survivors.