Demand A Parachute

  • You give someone your phone number when they approach you at Target with a "hey beautiful,"

  • You engage in a friendship that feels "okay" but not "fantastic".

  • You remain in a marriage that seems emotionally empty.

  • You have sex with a partner who you know is not available for a long term commitment.

These are all relationship risks.

Relationship risks are behaviors that stem from a place of scarcity in our lives. That could be a lack of: love, meaningful conversation, self-esteem, individual attention, or trusted friendships. So while it makes sense that we might engage in relationship risks, these risks by their very nature are iffy bets. They might not be (or remain) safe, either physically or emotionally. Even if not immediately obvious, relationship risks almost always cost you something.

Instead of driving while drowsy, you should go to bed earlier. Instead of engaging in risky relationships, you can find one person with whom you can be completely honest (ideally not someone you are paying). One person. What you will find, if you are honest with yourself and them, is that you begin to want other people in your life who show up as strongly as this one person. So as your standards go up, your circle of support expands. Those previous pockets of scarcity gradually become fuller and relationship risks go down.

You don't need multiple job offers; you only need one.

Posted on August 30, 2016 and filed under Abuse, Advocacy.